10 Predictions for 2010..

1. Barack Obama realizes that some problems are too big to be solved around a patio table and beer.  Inspired by Teddy Roosevelt, the President fires his National Security Advisor General James Jones and hires former Vice President Dick Cheney. The president is later to have been overhead as saying "oh you said, big stick.."
2. Doug Kass finally capitulates and takes his book 100% long at SPX 1180 only to have the market immediately reverse down 25%.  He is charged with murder for killing a gnome somewhere over the Swiss Alps.
3. Stocktwits.com in desperation to monetize their operations decides to air live porn between their shows on Stocktwits.tv.  Usage increases exponentially and Stocktwits surpasses You Tube in viewership.
4. Goldman Sachs decides it is time to pay back America and purchases Canada in a land deal that doubles the size of the US and makes the new country energy independent. The US adopts the Canadian health care system in the merger.
5. Howard Lindzon looses his cell phone causing internet usage to instantly drop 20%. The US government incorrectly identifies the dropped usage as some type of cyber attack and unplugs from the world.   It takes weeks to restore and estimated damages exceed one trillion dollars.
6. Faster than anticipated rising sea levels compounded with a lowering water table in Florida causes the city of Miami and Southern Florida to be reclaimed by the sea.  The dislocation of citizens and the loss of South Florida real-estate spark a new housing bubble that spreads across the US.
7. Television stock jock Jim Cramer looses his voice for a week and decides to do the entire show in mime.  It becomes the number one game show on cable television.
8. Warren Buffett fires Burlington Northern CEO Matthew Rose for not giving him a turn running the train set and because he can.  Mr. Buffett runs the trains off the end of the tracks to see what would happen. 
9. General Motors in an act of survival desperation finally releases their car that runs on only water and gets 100 miles to the gallon. GM plants around the world are blown up. Arab terrorism is suspected.
10. After more than a year of printing money and issuing bonds Secretary Geithner and Federal Reserve Chairman Ben Bernake conclude they need more expertise to help with the recovery strategy.  President Obama pardons Bernie Madoff so he can head the team.

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